'Elo there! Seems like there's something ailing you-drowning in love relationship problems maybe?
Well, uhm... what'll it be!? A shot of gin and tonic? Or some bourbon, perhaps?
Hmm... How about a taste of the house specialty? How about talkin' to someone real, straight up sound?
You see, right here is where I meet a great mix of people - a couple of broken hearts, a handful of bitter exes, and sometimes a heart or two hoping to find new love. I spy with my quick eye the rise and fall of all kinds of relationships, from people with high hopes to nerve-wracking suicidal souls, I tell you, it sure is tragic as hell.
Good thing here at the Break-Up Pub, I don't just fix drinks. I fix hearts too.
So how's about you grab a seat, order a drink, and let's talk about what ails you. I'll listen to your love problems-unforgettable break-ups, infidelity issues, jealous partners, dating advice and tips, problematic divorces, getting your ex back, to just about anything under the sun. I'll give you an irresistible offer; I'll put all drink orders on hold just to hear you out, yes you're right, just to hear you out.
You'll have me like a real friend, ain't that swell?
Feel free to spill out whatever it is that bothers your mind, body, and soul. Tell me anything from your relationship mishaps, boyfriend/girlfriend woes, nasty break-ups, or probably even sex-I won't tell anybody, it's our secret! Confidentiality is part of the Bartender's code of honor, y'know. I'll also throw in a couple of helpful and objective tips from my years of barroom knowledge. See, I give advice like the way I fix drinks - smooth and easy.
Take a deep breath, relax and prevent problems from taking over you, just by that you've already won half the battle. Win the other half by communicating or addressing the causes of your problems and get off whatever it is in your chest-and that's where I come in.
So how about it buddy? Let's have a good ol' talk. For $1/ day, I'll open the pub for you for 24 hours just to hear you out and give you my personal and unbiased take on whatever it is we're going to talk about. You'll get round-the-clock service, because I know I'll enjoy your company so much. I'll check up on you and give you my loyal, listening ear, and give you the counselling you deserve. Hey, for the great tips and advices I'll be doling out, I'm thinking a dollar a day isn't a bad deal don't you think?
Whether you're looking for love, finding a way to get out of it, or trying to recover from love lost, I'm all ears.
Oh, you might ask what's in it for me? Well, it's practically my job, more than fixing drinks, I'm here to fix hearts.
So, whaddya say? Shall I fix you the house specialty?
It's just you and me heart-to-heart. You know you deserve it.