Mr. Cheater

by Karla written last 2009-03-04
Karla felt Like Crap when this was written

I think almost every girl has experienced this guy. He’s charming, witty, spends money on you, showers you with attention, not such a looker, but his humor and his charm make up for it, and he totally adores kissing you and holding your hand or doing whatever mushy gesture of affection towards you –when nobody is looking.
I should have smelled it from the start! What the hell was I thinking?? After a few months of dating *Carlo, I could already sense that he had “other things” in mind. He would often say things to me like “we’re still so young” or “don’t you think it would be more fun if we had an open relationship?” and he would start telling me stories about all the fun things his single guy friends and girl friends were doing. He would never ask to break up with me, but he would always hint that the single life was much better for us both. This went on for months, and finally, I caught him with someone else. He went on a date with a girl whom all this time I thought was part of his big group of friends. I could not believe it. I had been so lenient with letting him go out and hang with his friends, that I thought it would let him feel that I trust him, I never imagined he would use that time to actually betray me. I would not see or talk to him for how many months, I changed my numbers, I deleted him from every social networking site I was connected through to him. But he was not out of my thoughts. I could not believe that a guy who was so like me, could hurt me that much. We had the same tastes in music, we had the most interesting conversations, his family loved me, his friends loved me, and I just did not get it. Why did we end?

But that is not even the tip of the ice berg. I thought that things were going well, that everything was fine until months later, he stumbled upon me at yahoo messenger and started telling me that he missed me and could not be without me, but he needed me to be there just as his friend. Ouch. And I unwittingly said yes. Mind you, after being “just his friend”, we never kissed or did anything intimate (we never got intimate when we were in a relationship to begin with, which I think was what lead him to cheat in some ways.. or maybe I’m just making excuses for his cheating). Being his friend was and still is excruciating. I watched him go from one girl to another and I just had to smile the whole time. Before you all go and tell me I am being stupid by hanging around, let me just share one more problem I have about this guy: he has this weird attachment to me, and when I don’t see him or hang out with him, he looks for me and he has placed me in best friend status. His family is also unbelievably attached to me, when I see them or when I hang at his place they always tell me stuff like “you should come here more often” or “we missed you so much, we don’t like the others” (others referring to the other girls my ex has hooked up with). And that ladies, is my problem. I have a toxic ex, an ex who thinks we should not be together as lovers but together as friends. I have opened it up to him a million times already that I need more time to move on and recover but it seems like he never hears me and he just always says he cannot be without me in his life. He has to keep me there as a friend. What should I do? It also irks me that he still tells me that he “loves” me. How do I deal with a relationship that’s over and a friendship that seems to bring back the memories all the time? How do I trash this guy?