Home > Should I Choose Ideal Love or True Happiness?
What People Are Saying:
- 44% said "Fight for It!"
- 55% said "Cool-Off!"
- 0% said "Break-Up!"
Should I Choose Ideal Love or True Happiness?
by
Belle
written last 2009-04-12
Belle felt Like Crap when this was written
My family is idealistic when it comes to choosing our lifetime partners. You see my mom married his first boyfriend and that would be my dad. My eldest brother tied the knot with his childhood sweetheart and first girl. My younger sister is about to marry her long-time boyfriend who is…you guess it right, her first boyfriend. This is an unspoken rule in the family—always marry your first sweetheart. I was never bothered by this “rule” until lately.
I meet my current boyfriend in a family reunion. He’s the step-son of a distant relative. First time we saw each other, we hit it off. He was charming and funny. My family liked him, too. We started going out after that and was inseparable ever since. Now, we are nearing our 5th year anniversary and he wants to settle down early next year. Suddenly, I’m not sure about us anymore. Looking back, the five years that we have been together was a so-so. Just like regular couples, we had dates; but ours where always spent with family members. Our hang-out was either his house or ours. We’ve never fought longer than a day because our families would always interfere. My life has become predictable and mundane. No conflicts. No challenges. No surprises. No nothing. Even my love for him seems...not there anymore. It’s like he has become a family to me and not a boyfriend nor a lover. I am choked by all of these. I’d like to step back and see the bigger picture but he believes its non-sense. My family also doesn’t approve. I just want to be sure before I say, “I do.” I want to follow our family tradition but I don’t know if it will make me happy. I still care for my boyfriend but I want some time alone. I’d like to make everyone happy but I hope not at the expense of my own happiness. I forgot to mention that I’m only 25 and I still have other plans like going back to school, work abroad and live in my own space.
I don’t know how and when to start. Can somebody please help me figure out my life? My boyfriend is hurting. My family is very disappointed with me. Am I a horrible person?
Comments [7]
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anonymous | 2009-07-16
Hmm... Hmm...
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anonymous | 2009-07-14
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anonymous | 2009-07-13
Hmm... Hmm...
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anonymous | 2009-07-13
Hmm... Hmm...Hmm... Hmm... Relax girl! It is completely OK to take a timeand he is the real charming prince he must understand. Sometime when we think that all the world is against us is just that we are the only ones who think that. They are your family and no matter what, parents always want their children to be happy. If they seem to disagree is because they think that your boyfriend can make you happy but what they cant realize is what you feel or see from inside you. So you have to prove them wrong, you are young to marriage but old enough to know who you really love or what you really want. So if it is time to check your feelings up: take your time, find your happiness, dont worry for anything else. You have to consider that if you are happy your parents will be happy too, and in the future to be a good mother you have to be happy to pass that happiness to your children. ("happy" word too many times :P)
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anonymous | 2009-07-13
Hmm... Hmm... Relax girl! It is completely OK to take a timeand he is the real charming prince he must understand. Sometime when we think that all the world is against us is just that we are the only ones who think that. They are your family and no matter what, parents always want their children to be happy. If they seem to disagree is because they think that your boyfriend can make you happy but what they cant realize is what you feel or see from inside you. So you have to prove them wrong, you are young to marriage but old enough to know who you really love or what you really want. So if it is time to check your feelings up: take your time, find your happiness, dont worry for anything else. You have to consider that if you are happy your parents will be happy too, and in the future to be a good mother you have to be happy to pass that happiness to your children. ("happy" word too many times :P)
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anonymous | 2009-06-19
try talking to him about it. you can't just decided by yourself. if he loves you, he'll be there waiting for you till you're ready. take your time to think what you really want.
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Karla | 2009-04-30
You're so young! Go out and study, like you planned. Marriage is a contract between two people, not those two people's families, for crying out loud. In the end, he'll end up thanking you for it.
