My life’s on hold

by Laura written last 2009-05-28
Laura felt Like Crap when this was written

When I was young, my granny used to remind me about the consequences of lying—how all lies would eventually catch up to you. I thought then, I could always find a way out of all my make-believe stories. As I grew older, I thought less and less of her reminders. I convinced myself that I will get away with anything.

Talk about learning a lesson the hard way, I am now facing a very difficult situation. My fiancée discovered the lies I told him about me and my family.

Rob is an optical design engineer. He’s from California and used to work in Japan. He stayed there for 2 years before he was offered another work here in Ontario.

I, on the other hand, was born and raised here in Canada. My parents divorced when I was six and I was left to my granny’s care until she died 5 years ago. I was never close to any of my parents. When Rob and I started dating, I told him my parents were both dead. I just didn’t want to talk about them anymore. Besides, I didn’t think he’d find out the truth because the last time I saw my parents was in granny’s funeral.

I also didn’t tell him that I had an abortion when I was 18 and got married and divorced at 20. I don’t know why I didn’t reveal these things to him when he was very honest about his past relationships.

Our situation got complicated when Rob proposed to me December of last year. I don’t know how but somehow this news got to my parents and they managed to get hold of my home number. One day, Rob received my father’s call. Imagine his shock when he learned that my parents are both alive. We argued about it and didn’t talk for 2 weeks. The last blow came when he learned about my other lies. To say that he was angry is an understatement. He was and probably is still furious with me. We postponed our wedding indefinitely. We’re no longer living together. He said he wanted to think and he can’t do it if we still live in one house.

I don’t know if Rob can ever forgive me or still wants to marry me. I’m not even sure if he still loves me after all I’ve done. But one thing’s for sure, I love Rob so much and I am deeply sorry for ruining our future. I want him back.