i am inlove with love..

by MuRieL written last 2009-06-25
MuRieL felt Better when this was written

i had been in a relationship too many times before..
been to bad break-ups, left someone that i am so inlove with because my relationship with him just hurts so much i'd rather die than be in one roof with him for another minute, its that bad i would loose my mind!
its this one uber bad relationship that even the gods wouldn't agree to my stupidity to stay.
its been one of those i-fell-inlove-the-first-time i met him.. the world stood still, and all i could see is him, standing in front of me.
but as years passed, the relationship turns sour, actually its not the relationship per se, its the person that i fell inlove with that has gone bad... so to make this story short.. i had given him everything and nothing is good enough for him, he would go out with girls with the money i give him.. he would call me at christmas and saying "merry christmas thea" in which by the way is not my name... he would go to parties get drunk and picks up a girl and makes her his girlfriend overnight.. i would give him shelter, food, clothing and money and yet he still does everything to break my heart.
YES I AM STUPID! I KNOW I AM.. BUT I WAS INLOVE, I THOUGHT I COULD BARE IT ALL.. AND I WAS WRONG, I COULDN'T. So i left him, even if i'm still so much inlove with him... i left him.
indeed i love him, but i love myself more. i needed someone to respect me, not only to love me.. but to make me feel that i am important, relevant and significant.
it took me almost 3 years to get over him, been in a relationship again, and yes, now, i am happy.. because even though love has given me so much pain, still its the one thing that can make it go away.
I AM INLOVE WITH LOVE, AND I'M HAPPY WITH THAT.