The Unknown Ending...

by Nikki written last 2010-03-31
Nikki felt Like Crap when this was written

Well, I don't know where to start. I thought for certain, like so many other people, that he was THE ONE. I felt forever with him. God he was amazing, the one thing in my life that gave me the constant calm in the storm of my mind. And just a few days ago, when I thought we were ok, he ended it.
We've been together for almost 7 months. I know that's not long for some people. But you've got to understand, the past 7 months I've had with him, have been the best of my entire life. I've had more downs than ups in my life. Had my fair share of loss. More than my fair share actually. He healed every hole I've had, every broken piece of my heart and soul mended. He completed everything in me.
We weren't your typical couple. We NEVER had a single fight, and only ever had one argument that lasted for five minutes until we both understood what eachother was trying to explain. It was silly and small. But we got along great!!
He just found out he's being shipped over seas about a month ago. He leaves early next year. I think with the stress of that, with the stress of us just moving in to a new house together, got to him, and he's also still going through a divorce. He thought he was ready, but he wasn't. I understand that. God do I ever, because I WENT through it myself just a couple years ago.
When he told me he wanted to break up with me, it devistated me, to no end. It still hurts, and I don't want to feel this way anymore, but I know I will make it through it.
I want, above all else, for him to be happy. I also made sure that he knew how much I love him still, that past everything else that's going on, he is still my best friend, my confidant. I want nothing more than his happiness. I'm glad that he feels the same way, and we talk every day. We still live together, and I know that's not healthy for some people, but it's closure to the amazing relationship we had, as boyfriend and girlfriend, but now we have our friendship to continue to grow and work on.
Things could have been so much worse, he could have yelled, been mean and hateful to me, that's not the case at all. We are great with eachother, and I'm so thankful that it's a happy not quite ending.